"The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead."
Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I can do hard things.

Once upon a time I imagined how my life would turn out. I never really said it out loud, but I totally expected my life to mirror my mom's. She was married at twenty, had her five girls by the time she was twenty eight. I still figured I was fine when I married the love of my life at twenty two, I still had lots of time. I have come to realize my life is what my life is, and that I shouldn't compare it to anyone else's.

I believe General Conference is something we always look forward to and that our spirits yearn for. However, for me it has not only been uplifting reminders and gospel teachings, it has been a timely eye opener.

I have heard many talks that have been amazing. But the general spirit of the conference has reminded me that the Lord's plan is so much bigger than me and my small trials. However big they may seem at this time. I have always been taught by my parents that the Lord does not give us trials or struggles we cannot overcome. In a way my trials are tailored to me and the lessons I need to learn and the personal growth that I need to experience. Someone else's trials are not more or less significant, just as mine are.

I feel in certain areas I have let myself become lazy and lax in always striving to make sure I am living the gospel to the fullest. The past two and a half years have been especially hard for me and Austin in trying to figure out how we are supposed to get our cute little family here and started. I think I have become overwhelmed at times and it was easier to let more worldly things slip in in order to dim or lessen the pain. But I now realize all that I allowed was less opportunity for the spirit to guide and bless my life. In trying to dull the hurt, pain and longing I have not allowed the one person who knows my exact feelings all the opportunity to comfort and bless me, the Savior. Why not look for comfort and guidance in places that are true and lasting?

....I, Nephi will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance. - 1 Nephi 1:20

"....I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord's timing of his tender mercies helps us both to discern and acknowledge them.
The Lord's tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving kindness, consolation, support and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Faithfulness, obedience, and humility invite tender mercies into our lives, and it is often the Lord's timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings.

The simpleness, the sweetness, and the consistency of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live."
-Elder David A. Bednar

I do not doubt I will be a mother, and be blessed to have little spirits in my home to love, cuddle and bring the joy only a child can. But I cannot control how or when that will happen. It seems that time and time again I have to be reminded and come to the realization that the Lord's time table does not always match up with ours. I am not sure why I have to continually learn this lesson. Once we are able to turn our fears into faith our outlook and attitude can greatly change.

I have been continually amazed to read the Sullenger family's blog. I have been inspired and touched by their unyielding faith and testimonies. I was especially touched by her post titled, "I can do hard things". I can not even begin to imagine the circumstances and experiences they have recently gone through, but I am so grateful for their story, it has touched me in ways I wouldn't have guessed or imagined. It as taught me that in my own little insignificant life....

I can do hard things.

I remember being in high school and coming across several scriptures in Alma. It was not only the message I was searching for at that particular time, it has also been a guides and scripture have turned back to time and time again.
"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things.....Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God....yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God...."

I can do hard things.

I am so excited to be able to read and get into several talks I have heard over this last conference.....President Uchtdorf's talk on simplifying or lives as well as President Monson's talk on having an attitude of gratitude. I truly have so many things to be grateful for, and in an unexpected way infertility has been one of them. I have learned so many things about myself, my husband, family, and the importance of Heavenly Father's plan. I know that when I put my complete faith and trust in Him, my life is full of nothing but blessings.....even if they seem to be in disguise.

"Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment..."


The Jones said...

This post was beautiful Shawnee! Thanks for sharing something so personal, I agree conference always brings everything back into perspective and is such a blessing. I love your outlook on so many things. You truly can do hard things!

Irene said...

I also was so touched by the "I can do hard things" post. I know that this time in your life is so hard to overcome, I've been there to a degree. But, having faith in the plan is going to help you get through it. Patience is one thing that I don't have much of and the Lord has to continually remind me of that. It's MY lesson that I have to keep revisiting. I love you both and I am keeping you in my prayers always!!

Trevin & Randee said...

Thanks for that shawnee. I can do hard things too. And I'm going to!

Rachel said...

Thanks Shawnee, I'm sure that sharing something so personal wasn't easy, but I'm grateful I got to read it. Conference had so many good reminders for all of us. And everyones trials are important, no matter how big or small they seem. You can do hard things, and so can all of us, but only with the Saviors help will we be truly successful at overcoming hard things. You are so great, I have always looked up to you miss Shawnee! and one day, you will be the best mother to some of the cutest kiddos around.

Shane and McKenzee said...

Shawnee...pretty sure I am crying my eyes out right now. I love you for making me want to be better every time I am around you. This post meant so much to me and I am truly touched by your strength. You are going to be such an amazing mom. I am so glad I came across this on a day when I was feeling sorry for myself! I can do hard things!

Jace and Nichole said...

Shawnee! First of all I miss you so much! And I am so impressed by you as always! You are one of the most beautiful, wonderful people I have ever known! I know things will work out for you and Austin because you are both so faithful and amazing. Thank you so much for posting this. Posts like this are the reason I love blogging! Call me sometime!!!

Jordan said...

I do have to say that I enjoyed conference to the fullest and it means the world to me to know that our Heavenly Father is in charge. Can you imagine what our world or our personal lives would be if He wasn't. We all have to be reminded that it is His timeline we follow and for our own personal growth! Thanks for being such an example of strength through some of the not so fun things you are faced with. I know that these times are also so rewarding and blessed because you have a great husband who loves you and as soon as those little ones are ready to come to you guys in what ever way they come, it will be very special and rewarding. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" Robbin Hood. I believe that is true even if you don't know the people or person's you are absent from! Love you Shawn :)

Sierra said...

Such a great post! So heartfelt and sincere. I am so sorry for your trials. It makes me sad to see so many women struggle with this problem. I get very frustrated when people are pushy and nosy about people having children. I know so many women in your boat, who are struggling to get pregnant. And people don't realize how hurtful and mean their comments are to these women. I pray for you to have strength and know that one day you will overcome this trial :-)